Love is...

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). This is one of my favorite verses. In my generation the word "love" is largely overused. We say we love this and love that but do we really know what "love" really is? I wanted to know the true meaning of what love really and truly is. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 may not seem like a lot to work with but if you think of the meanings of each phrase that is used then there is a wealth of information at your fingertips.
    Love is patient. The dictionary says that patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset. In my opinion, that is a very difficult concept. I am not nor have I ever been a very patient person. Which in a sick kind of way makes me laugh at the fact that I have Lyme disease. Having Lyme disease is all about being patient. It makes me work on everything I am having difficulty with. Patience is a big one. I must trust that God knows what he is doing and I must wait until his plans unfold. I have to tolerate delays with doctors and suffer through treatment not knowing when my next good day will be. Thankfully, I am through the worst of it. But I must try to do this without getting upset or angry because love is patient. God is love and love is patient. Therefore to be more like Jesus I also must be patient.
    Love is kind. Kindness can be anything from a small gesture or a smile to brighten someone's day or it can be something much more. Kindness is being generous, considerate, and friendly with a genuine heart. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving to one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Luke 6:35 adds, "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil." So it's not only important to be kind and compassionate towards people who are nice to you, it is also just as important to be kind to the people who are unkind and harsh towards you. You never know what a person is going through so a smile their way or a hello as you pass by might just change their entire day.
    Love does not envy. Proverbs 14:30 says, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." We must be content with what we have and know that God has given us everything we need to succeed with the plan he has for us.
    Love does not boast, it is not proud. Proverbs 11:2 says, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom." Proverbs 27:2 adds, "Let another praise you, and not your own mouth, a stranger and not your own lips." When we accomplish things, we are proud of what we have done so naturally we are excited about it and want to tell people. For me, I think there is a line between telling someone what you have accomplished and boasting about it. God says instead of praising yourself for all that you have done let the praise come from others. You can talk all you want about how awesome you are but the real praise and honor is when it comes from others and God. We must keep our pride in check. Proverbs 29:23 explains, "One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor." It's just a reminder to all of us that we need to strive to be humble.
    Love does not dishonor others. We are told to honor our father and mother in Ephesians 6:1. That means that we should obey and respect them. Colossians 3:20 states, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." So not only will you have happy parents but in doing this you please the Lord! I went through a period of time where I always thought I was WAY smarter than my parents and that they had no idea what they were talking about but I learned. I learned that opening up to my parents and really listening to what they had to say was the best decision I had made in a long time. Everything got better. I made much better life decisions by talking to them about it first. I surrounded myself with better friends and influences around me. I learned what real unconditional love felt like and that was it. I was sold. Honoring my father and mother pleased the Lord and in return made me a better and happier person. But this part of the verse is not just talking about your parents, It is referring to everyone including your coworkers, your friends, the people who are just down right mean to you, your family, and the people that are driving slow in front of you on the highway. There is no limit to God's love so why are we limiting ours? We must take heed to God's warning and honor others with love.
    Love is not self-seeking. Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others." Love is not selfish. Love is looking around and seeing someone in need and being generous. It is taking a step back and not looking at what you might want but looking at others to know what they need. We get so caught up in our own lives that we don't even see what is going on around us. There is a song by Brandon Heath called "Give Me Your Eyes" and it talks about a man asking God for His eyes so that he could see everything from God's point of view. God sees the needy. God sees the hurt. God sees everyone's situations and sins and still loves us with an unfathomable depth. God knows our hearts. He knows if we do things with a selfish heart. He knows our intentions. God's love is self-less and ours should be too.

 
    Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Proverbs 14:29 warns, "Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly." There are always going to be things that frustrate us and anger us but it is what we do with the anger that matters. When I start to get angry or frustrated I pray. I do not pray that he take away what is angering me though, I pray that He helps me understand why I am angry so that the situation can be resolved calmly. People mess up and we all make mistakes so with that in mind we must be understanding and forgiving just like you would want others to be towards you. Proverbs 15:1 adds, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a hard word stirs up anger." Arguments or disagreements don't have to be yelling and screaming at each other. Arguments and disagreements can be handled calmly. We just have to be understanding, slow to anger, and keep no record of wrongs. Pray for a resolution to your anger. Pray for peace within you so that you may speak with a soft answer. Love forgives and forgets. It does not keep a record of all the sins you have committed. Matthew 6:14-15 states, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." We must forgive as we have been forgiven. How are we supposed to love like God loves if we are not willing to forgive others like God forgave us? You forgive, let it go and move on. I know that is easier said than done and I don't expect it to happen overnight but it needs to be done. Forgive like you have been forgiven.
    Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. John 8:32 reads, "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Love detests evil but rejoices in truth. Find joy in the truth and shy away from evil things. Evil tempts and tries to lure you in but resist and search for the truth! Let the truth of everything set you free from the lies and hatred and shame. John 14:6 declared, "...I am the way, the truth, and the life..." God is the truth so we must follow in His ways so we can live the life He wants us to live. Do everything in Him. Look for His doings in every aspect of your life and in others lives. Jesus can set you free from the chains and the hurt that is holding you back. Rejoice in the truth that God is love and God loves YOU.
    Love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Protecting, covering sins, looking out for one another, its all the same. When you love someone you want to protect them. You overlook their mistakes and failures and just love them without end. Protecting is supporting and being understanding and caring for people you know really well and for the people you don't know very well. Trusting is giving the benefit of the doubt and having positive faith in people. Love always protects and trusts, always. God believed in us so much so that he sent his only son to die on the cross for us!  Love that strong blows my mind. Its so incomprehensible that someone could love me that much. I want that kind of love. Love hopes and perseveres. Love hopes for the best in every situation. It never gives up hope! I hope for remission from Lyme disease. It is possible and there will always be hope. There's a saying that says there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and that rings true in so many ways. God is my light and he is waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. It may be dark now but every step I take forward is one step closer to God. That gives me hope and that gets me excited! Lastly, Love always perseveres. It endures through everything. It never gives up or throws in the towel. It works through difficult times. Love never ceases. Love never fails. Its perseverance is endless. God's love perseveres through everything we've done, through all our mistakes and failures and He still loves us no matter what we do. We cannot to anything to make him love us less. That's the love that I want to have.
    God's love is the best love and I want to love others as He has loved me. I am not perfect nor will I ever be but doing everything I possibly can to imitate a perfect God seems like a good starting point. God never says anything is going to be easy but he does say it it possible and it will be worth it! 1 John 4:16 states, "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." Love is what matters the most. Without love we are nothing. Love has been misused for far too long. Love is so much more than the casual way we use it now. Its powerful. It can change someone life forever. I want to start taking love more seriously. It isn't just something we should throw around and act as if it's nothing because it's not. My favorite song in the entire world is a song about real, true love. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. It's called "Love Never Fails" by Brandon Heath.

 

Progress is Progress

It is October. OCTOBER. How in the world is it October already? These past few months have gone by so fast and so incredibly slow at the same time! I guess I should start off where I left off in the last update. Shortly after my last post my dad and I made an amazing trip to Florida. We spent a lot of our time at the beach (As most know that is my favorite place in the whole world to be). To make it even better we went skydiving together as well! Saying it was "fun" is such an understatement! Skydiving is one thing that I will do several times throughout my life. It was so much more than I could have ever imagined! Seeing Key West and all its beauty from 10,000 feet was incredible. Once the parachute had been pulled we made our way slowly to the ground (but still 3,000 ft up) the instructor I was attached to asked me if I had ever touched a cloud before. Of course my answer was no but seeing as there were all these white puffy clouds around us like you see on the most beautiful days he could hear the anticipation in my voice. With one tug on the parachute we were headed straight to the edge of a cloud which I then proceeded to reach out and grab the puffiness out of the sky. To my surprise and amusement it was kind of gross. It does not feel as it looks. It was amazing to be able to "touch" the cloud but in reality I just felt like I had stuck my hand in a swimming pool in the middle of the sky. Either way I was a very very very happy girl that week not even to mention how much I loved that it was just my dad and I on a trip together.

Once we got back from Florida, life returned to its normal activities that included work and doctors appointments. Work was steadily getting harder and harder. Half of it was because of my health and the other half was because the ages of the kids at work. The new baby that had just been a newborn a few short months ago was now nine months old and crawling up a storm with a territorial 2 year old who didn't like his baby brother's new skill. Despite new challenges I stilled loved my job!

A couple weeks later Church Kamp came around and I was so happy and so sad at the same time. This year was my last year but its Kamp! You can't possibly go to Kamp and NOT have fun. Kamp is so full of activities they actually give teenagers a nap time! I love Kamp and I will miss it but I have memories that will last a life time.

After Kamp everything slowed down and we started to get back into the routine of things when another big decision was thrown at us. Lyme disease was starting to get the upper hand and my oral antibiotics were no longer doing the trick. I was NOT going to let that happen for long! So our next option was to choose between another treatment altogether or go to the next step with antibiotics which mean IVs. It was a very hard choice. I felt like everything was trial and error and we didn't really know what we needed to do. I just wanted someone to tell me how to fix it and I would do it, but unfortunately that is not how it works with Lyme. In the end, we decided that antibiotics had worked before to get me into remission so we would keep trying the antibiotics and just upgrade to IV antibiotics. Which leads me to where I am today.

On August 8th I had a power port put in. Let me tell you, its a weird thingymajiger. You can see it and feel it and its just weird. My nurse side of me thinks its pretty cool though lol. I have been on IV antibiotics for two full months and so far it is working. The pain has increased dramatically the past two weeks due to herxing BUT I HAVE MY BRAIN BACK! I can write and read and pass tests! Its progress and its amazing! I even passed a Psychology CLEP test last week! So I am pretty excited about that part of the progress. The other part not so much. Last week I hit my pain limit and to our surprise we found the PERFECT pain management doctor in Dallas. It was a total God thing. A pain doctor that knows Lyme Disease! Now that is crazy amazing! My hesitation to going to a pain doctor before was the fact that most doctors don't believe in "Chronic" Lyme disease and therefore don't believe I could possible be in as much pain as I say i'm in. So to find a doctor that I know won't blow me off as a pain killer addict is such a huge relief to me! I see this new doctor on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday next week and we are starting a new kind of infusion that is supposed to lower my pain level for an extended amount of time. The fact that I may be almost pain free or have a significantly lowered pain level in a week or less makes me so hugely excited. I can't even put the extent of my excitement into words!

All in all, progress is progress and I will be happy with what I am given. Even if the infusions next week don't work there is still hope for the future. Compared to what Jesus suffered on this earth I am very happy with what I have. My pain is little compared to what he suffered for me. I can deal with whatever life throws at me as long as I have He who gives me strength. My battle has been won and I have won because God is with me and his love never fails. My battle was conquered the day Jesus died for me. I trust God's plan for me. I may not always know what that plan is but none the less his plan is ALWAYS better than anything I could have planned for myself. I am the daughter of a KING who is not moved by this world for MY GOD IS WITH ME and goes before me. I DO NOT FEAR because I AM HIS.  I have nothing to fear when the God of angel armies is on my side.




And thank you Noah for "patiently" waiting since May 28th for this post lol you are totes awesome lol *insert laughing emoji here* I will try to update it more often in the future!

Crazy Love Challenge

​I know I’ve been pretty bad lately about updating this blog but I’m still sitting here trying to gather all my thoughts and somehow put it into a sentence. The fact that I have made it this far into a paragraph is progress though! Well, I just lost my train of thought… so now I’ll start on my next subject.

​In the past couple months an astounding amount has happened! At the beginning of April my dad and I participated in the Capitol 10K! WHOO! We did it in a record breaking time of 1 hour and 21 minutes! I was pretty proud of us considering I had slacked off of training quite a bit. I had plenty of excitement running through me the entire time and because of all the hustle and bustle and old ladies passing me, my Mother’s competitive spirit took over. If little old ladies in tutus could speed walk at a pace that was faster than my jog then I needed to get a hold of myself and pick up the pace. I was a 17 year old girl! I should be able to keep up with people that were 50 years older than me! No pain No gain. At least that’s what I was thinking at the time. The race was more than I ever expected it to be. My Dad and I had made an agreement that morning as we looked over the path we were to be running and we agreed that we would walk up hill, walk flats, and jog the downhills. That seemed very reasonable and seemed like the easiest tactic. Little did we know, we were very wrong. In the end, we jogged up hills to save our calf muscles from burning too much, we ran downhill because we liked the thought of gravity doing all the work after running all the way to the top, and we walked the flat areas because we were so exhausted after running both up hill and down. Once we finished, we did what all great, healthy runners do, we celebrated at IHOP. We worked hard for a whole 81 minutes so that we could enjoy the unhealthiest of all omelets and it is at that IHOP that we started planning for next year’s Capitol 10K. That’s right! We are going back for more! (Running and IHOP) I can’t believe that was almost two months ago already!

​Another thing that has happened in the last couple months is my birthday! I am officially 18 years young! My birthday was filled with lots of love and laughter and for that I am extremely grateful for. I could not have asked for a better day than to be with the people I love. I am also happy to announce that due to my recent birthday I am now able to go skydiving! June 10, 2014 I will be jumping out of a perfectly good plane from over 2 miles in the sky and to top it off my Dad and I will be doing it together in Key West, Florida! I have an amazing Dad! He is the best!

​So I have covered the Capitol 10K and my birthday so now I move on to my plans from here on out. I know whenI originally started this blog, I designated it for fitness and my journey to a healthier lifestyle and for the most part that will still be true but I will be leaning less on the fitness and more on the lifestyle parts. The lifestyle parts are going to change a little too. I want to focus more on my journey to a better relationship with the people around me as well as with God. I find that the worse I feel the closer I want to be with God but then when I feel better I also want to praise him for giving me a better day. I feel like the second time around with Lyme disease has given me a wakeup call and that is something I would like to be able to share with people. I also feel that if I have a better relationship with God my life is healthier even if it’s not physically. So I would like to use this blog as a way to share how I feel about God and how wonderful and perfect He is. I would like to use it as a tool to share my story and maybe, just maybe I will be able to make a tiny difference in someone’s life. I want to be able to stand before God and be able to say I did everything I could to make his holiness known. I want everyone to know that even though your life may not be perfect and there will be struggles that God does not forsake you. He is there 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Struggles of this life are little compared to what he has promised for us in Heaven. I truly believe that and I want everyone else to know that too. There is a God who loves you and who is longing to be close to you every minute of every day. His love is never ending and unconditional. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make him love you less. So I want to use this blog as a window into my life and my struggles so that I can glorify God through my journey from a sin doin’ material lovin’ self seekin’ person of the world to a Jesus lovin’, school jugglin’, Lyme fightin’ bible studyin’ person of faith. I want to share my faith with others so that they may have a complete life full of limitless faith and boundless love for the one who is our creator. Lyme disease has been a huge faith builder for me and I would never wish it onto someone else but sometimes people need that kick in the butt to finally take God seriously and not push him off until Sunday morning worship and then leave him at church until the next time he is convenient.

​So for June’s challenge I would like to invite everyone to read the book “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. I’m not going to tell you anything other than it is about God’s crazy love for us. Read it and seriously think about what is written. That is your challenge for this coming month and if you choose to rise to the challenge I would love to know what you think about it!  

Problem or Perspective

It’s already March! Where has all the time gone?! I hope you guys enjoyed last month’s challenge because this month will be similar to that again. It will be less of a fitness challenge than it has been in the past but none the less it will be challenging. As some of you know, I am 100% gluten free now. A couple of weeks ago I went back to the doctor and found out I have a lot of inflammation in my gut and a few other issues as well. So due to that fact, I started antibiotic shots Saturday and will continue those until my stomach settles down enough to have oral antibiotics. Which, in truth, I am not too excited about any of it. As of right now I am feeling okay. Just a little bit nervous because I know what is about to come. One of the many perks of having Lyme is herxing, which in itself, is a good and bad thing. God has a plan for me and I will trust his plan. It may not be to cure me and I am completely okay with that as long as he uses me the way he has always intended. I don’t know why I have Lyme or why I can’t just be normal but I would never ask for a different life. I have been given an opportunity to help others because of what I’m dealing with. If I were to never have Lyme my life would be completely different. I love my life now and if that means I get to have Lyme disease too then it can join the party!

            This March I want everyone to look at their lives and not ask God “Why” but to ask him to help you understand the bigger picture. Don’t ask God to change something you don’t like but ask him to help you know where he is leading you. It changes your perspective on how you look at issues in your life. The problem is not always the actual issue; you just might be looking at it the wrong way. Lyme is not my problem; it is how I deal with it that would either help someone else or destroy who I am. I would have never chosen to have Lyme but God knows where he is leading me and where I will go in my life. I will let him do as he will and be my guide through murky waters. Even if I can’t see, I know he is there guiding me step by step. So this month everyone gets to take a look at problematic things in their life or just things that may upset or annoy you. They all have a purpose and they all are ways to see God’s love for you. All you have to do is look. What you see as a problem might just be God’s way of directing you to your next step. Step out into the water of faith and watch as Jesus diminishes all doubt and keeps you safely walking with him. Let him lead you through your murky waters. You might be surprised that with Jesus you, too, can walk on water. With your faith and his unfailing love and power anything is possible. No problem is too big or too small to be turned into something that will glorify our Lord. God and God alone will set you free from your chains and release the difficulties of this life because we know what we have been promised. No matter how hard this life gets or how many complications get thrown our way God is preparing a permanent place for us. A place where there is no pain, no sorrow, no difficulties. It will be a place of paradise, joy, and pure holiness. One day we will be able to see God’s face and feel his warm embrace. One day he will reach his hand down to this world and bring us all home. One day we will live with him in heaven. Now look at the problems you had today. What is your perspective? Are they big? Small? Give it to God. Let him take care of everything. Let him be God.

Blessings of an Arrow

​Okay you guys, I have a confession to make. I have talked the talk but I have not walked the walk. I kept true to the fast food challenge though! In fact, when the month was over I went into Dairy Queen and enjoyed the most delicious burger my heart could ever desire. Unfortunately, my stomach had different ideas. So, all in all, I decided fast food is no longer for me. It is no longer a monthly challenge but a permanent dietary change. As for the physical part of the challenge, let’s just say it was nonexistent. In the last month or so I have encountered some setbacks that will hopefully be resolved soon. Some of these setbacks have included quite a bit of fatigue and some pain here and there that is a bit worrisome. With the intent of catching everything early (if it is anything at all) we are going back to the Lyme doctor to get it all checked out. I went into all of this thinking that after the initial treatment I would be all better and that I would stay in remission unless something traumatic were to happen such as surgery or something that would drastically lower my immune system but what I am learning is that this may in fact be a longer process than I thought. Recently, I got the chance to meet with someone who also has Lyme disease. He has had it for about five years so he is a little bit ahead of me treatment and recovery wise. None the less it was an eye opener for me. It made me realize that ten months of antibiotics is not going to magically cure me. It is going to take a lot longer than that and I have to learn to be patient. I heard a saying once that has always stuck with me, “An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus and keep aiming.” God knows my future and he knows where I need to be. I will get there in God’s timing not mine. This is just a detour. This is my scenic route so I will be patient and stop to smell some roses on the way! I don’t mean to say all this to complain, I promise. It is merely to explain that everyone has their ups and downs and this is one of my downs. I am still planning on participating in the Capital 10K in April though! Nothing will ever change that! I still strive for my goals and give 110% at everything I do (even when I shouldn’t). I work hard, play hard, and enjoy my life to the fullest despite my limitations. So this month’s challenge is to look around you and thank God for everything you have. Spend this month like it is your last. Take nothing for granted and really think about how much we are all blessed. When you are out on a walk around your neighborhood look at all the houses and realize there is a family that calls that house their home and inside that family is a unique story. There are seven billion people on this earth. Every number has a name and every name has a story. So your challenge this month is to look at your story and to realize all the blessings that live inside your unique story. This month is dedicated to saying a little prayer for the person who cuts you off in morning rush hour instead of getting irritated. It is dedicated to knowing it is not about where you've been, it's about what you're doing now and where you are going. It is dedicated to opening your eyes and seeing what God has done for you and those around you. February is dedicated to looking at everything through God’s eyes and seeing what truly is his awesome power. That is your challenge this month and I wish you all the best of luck! Remember this is a challenge so dig deep and really put some thought into it! You might be surprised at all the things you find! 

 

“People think I’m strong for the struggles I’ve had, problems I’ve encountered, and pains I’ve felt, but they are wrong I am weak but behind me is a STRONG GOD.”

Interested or committed

​Are you just interested or are you truly committed? The difference between the two are obvious but why is it so hard to decipher which category you might fit into? As for me, I fit into both at one point or another. I go back and forth between being interested and committed because sometimes doing what it takes to get to your goal just sucks. It starts out being fun and exciting but once the novelty wears off it becomes laborious and inconvenient. That is where being fully committed keeps you going. It keeps reminding you that each run and each workout is a goal in itself but also a part of a bigger picture. Just as I commit myself to Jesus by giving all I have to my savoir that is not where it ends. It is also my duty to stand with other Christians and serve others as Jesus did. I am a little part of a bigger picture. So when you try to decide whether you want to be interested or committed just think about what the world would be like if God was just interested in us. He gave his life for us so that we could live with him. He was truly and completely committed to us. When I think about all he has done and given up for me simple things like eating healthier and working out don’t seem so hard.  

​As we start off our new year, make it a year that counts. Make 2014 a year to remember, a year of growth and learning, a year to meet new goals, a year to forget about all your mistakes and failures and start off new and improved. Starting today, I challenge you to forget the past, appreciate the present and make a better future for yourself. I challenge you to dig deep and really concentrate on what you want your life to be about. Pray about it. Let God lead you to where you are meant to be. Let him work his plan. My favorite verse in the entire bible is Jeremiah 29:11 which states, “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’”. I love that verse because I know that whatever life throws at me God is with me and anything is possible. He knows what is best and I do not fear because I AM His.

​Now that I have skipped the whole month of December (which I do apologize for) I want to present to you the January Challenges. First and foremost we will talk about the January food challenge. This month I have chosen to accomplish a Fast Food Free January! This is exactly what it sounds like so no beloved Whataburger, Sonic, Chicken Express etc. Instead, choose more homemade food or healthier options. Remember to look at it like a challenge and not a restriction. If you are highly competitive, like me, make it into a competition with someone to see how long you can go without fast food! Put some excitement into it and it will go by before you can say SUPERCALIFRGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS. (I probably spelled that wrong… but you get what I mean). And now (drum roll……..) the January Workout challenge is...FAB ABS JANUARY! Goodluck! 

"I am the daughter of a king who is not moved by this world for my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear because I am his"